I Let Go

He took away my innocence. 

It has been many years. 

But the pain remains. The memory remains. The shame remains. 

I am angry and bitter. 

His life has been a bed of roses. 

He does not seem to suffer. 

He does not appear to have any pain. 

Neither does he seem to live with guilt or shame. 

I am angry and bitter. 

I find it hard to love myself. 

I find it hard to take care of myself. I find it hard to trust others. 

I hide because I am afraid that no can love me. 

I don’t allow anyone to get close, 

I am afraid that if they see my pain, they will reject me. 

I am angry and bitter. 

I need to let go of the pain, the anger and bitterness. 

I need to forgive those who have hurt me, especially him. 

After all he does not seem to suffer. 

He does not appear to have pain 

He does not seem to live with remorse, guilt or shame 

He is not angry and bitter. 

So why should I remain angry and bitter? 

God, thank you for reminding me that 

Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. 

I choose to let go of the anger, for it makes me weak. 

It makes me hide behind destructive practices. 

It makes me vulnerable. 

I can’t do it on my own so I claim Your strength to forgive him 

Not because he is blameless. 

Not because he deserves it. 

But because I deserve to live in hope, in safety, in faith, in freedom, with love. 

I rest in peace and assurance with Your love and the love of others. 

I let go. 

Lord have Your way in me! 

-Belle Dunn